The WereBug of Hogwarts
by The Potal
Summary: It was a normal Valintines Day. Or for the monsters at Area Fifty-Something, at least. Then strange things start to happen after Dr. C gets strach from something. Nothing is big until the General is killed by something. Dr. C leaves the gang only to get caught up in something more. Like a war against the Dark Lord and Harry Potter more. First chap lame, but the rest is gonna good
1. Valintimes Day

It was Valentines Day.

"Do you think Sta'abi will like this?" Link asked spraying some awful perfume into the air. I coughed. "I d-don't see what people see in Valentines Day thing." "Oh I know! You play jokes on people!" B.O.B said exsactilly. I sighed. "No B.O.B. You celebrate love and stuff." "You just don't want to say that you don't have a girlfriend." Link grinned. "Hey guys," Susan said, walking in.

* * *

Coverton POV

I looked at Dr. C. You could tell by his face that he liked, liked Susan. I had "borrowed Sweepe's shrike ray, yet again. Hopfuly, though, this time it would work. I grinned. Evil light bulb.

"Ohhhhhh, Sweepe?" "Yes Coverton?" Sweepe asked, looking up from her , well, whatever thing she was working on. "Can I borrow your romatic ray?" "Sure. But, why?" "Ummmmmmmmmm, I have a crush on Sta'abi?" Sweepe's eyes widened. "You want to crush Sta'abi?" "With , um, romance." "Okay. Can I have her warrior stick?"

* * *

Dr. C' POV

"Hey, um, Susan," I said shyly. I kinda had a crush on her ever since she saved me from the cockroach genes. "Hey Dr. C. Here." She handed Link, B.O.B, and I a gift. While Link and B.O.B ribbed opened their gift, I slowly opened mine. "Whoa! A new bunny!" Link said, before being able to stop himself. My eyes opened in surprise when I opened mine. It was a space follower, or a thing that made it possible for me to know where every single planet, astrode, or comet in space was. "Here you go Susan," Link said, handing Susan a box of choalets. "It's from all of us." "That's what you think," I thought as I snuck into my lab. Suddenly I felt a weird sensation. Like I had to impress Susan. And I knew just how.

I burst right into the room Susan had been in and started to sing the song I had watched on the most lamest movie I've ever seen.

Dr. C  
I believe we all have a soul mate  
The chance for a perfect duet  
I believe in hopeless devotion  
I just haven't found it yet  
But in my mind I see  
The chick, who is meant for me  
She'll be someone who is lovely  
Someone wonderful and true

I opened my eyes. "Where's Susan?" "Oh, she went to the mess room," Link said grinning. I sighed. The sensation was gone. Thank God Susan hadn't heard me.


	2. The strach

It was dark in the garden of Area Fifty-Something. I pulled out a purple flower from its roots and started mindlessly going "She loves me not, She loves me..."

I was sitting out in the outer area of the garden. Suddenly, a loud, hissing -like roar rang out in the dark. I looked up, confused. Realizing it was probably just stupid B.O.B, I stood up and rolled my eyes. " ...this isn't funny! Um... B.O.B?" I walked into the shrubs, expecting Link and B.O.B to jump out any minute. Suddenly something did jump out. But it wasn't B.O.B. Nor Link.

I gasped as I took in a giant, furry, snarling with white foam coming out of his mouth, and angry wolf the size of a five foot man jumped out in front of me. I laughed nervously as it noticed me and licked it's lips hungry. "Nice doggy, nice do- Ahhhhhhhhh!" I yelled as it scratched me on my left arm. My lab coat ripped and blood poured from my arm.

I rushed back into Area Fifty-Something and ran into my lab. I wasn't scared of the wolf, but of rabies. I injected blood into a needle and study it under the microscope. Nothing. I gave a sigh of relief.

But it didn't stop bleeding. No matter what I did, it wouldn't stop. Finally I gave up and just wrapped ripped up bits of lab coats till it wasn't visible.

"Hey Doc!" Link yelled as Susan and he walked in. "You make any new inventions, yet?" "No." "Well, we're off to go get something to eat at the burger resternate nearby. Want anything?"

"No. You guys go on without me. I'm just going to bed," I said slowly reaching for a knife. "Okay." "Dr. C are you okay? You're straching your left arm with the blade of a knife," Susan asked. I looked down and quickly threw the knife behind me. "You know what? I'll go with you!" I was terrorfied. Was this strach trying to get me to cut off my arm?


	3. The Wolf from Within

** Chapter 3: The Wolf from Within**

"Hey Doc, mmm, how come you aren't eating? You usually _love_ this stuff!" Link cried, taking a huge hunk out of his hamburger. I suddenly broke out of my trance and looked down at my hambuger. "Oh nothing Link. I was just thinking." My hambuger did look good...

The truth was, I was terrorfied. What was that beast? A werewolf? My strach was still intching, and more importantly, bleeding. I had a strange feeling to bite into flesh...

"Hey Link, when are we going to get those butt tatoos you were talking about the other day at the dogeball game?!" B.O.B asked hopefully. Susan, Link, and I sighed. "B.O.B, I didn't mean us, I meant the a-Hey that's my hamburger B.O.B!" Link cried. "Oops. Sorry."

When we got back to Area Fifthy-Something, Sweepe kept following me. That is, until I locked my lab door behind me. "I wonder what all that was about?" I wondered aloud before yawning. As soon as my head hit my hard pillow, I was out cold. Or at least I thought I was...

* * *

**Susan's POV**

**I **turned my fork over, trying to get the "supposingly" scrambled eggs off of it. Nothing. Giving up the task, I turned my atention to B.O.B and Link's conversion. I yawned as I heard something about B.O.B and Dianna getting back together. B.O.B, Link, and I hadn't gotten one once of sleep last night because of Dr. C. As soon as we laid down our heads, strange noises could be heard from his room.

"B.O.B, please be quiet. I'm ex-" "Hey, who's the new guy?!" I turned around and gasped. Walking towards our table, the most handsome man (with shaggy black hair, yellow-orange eyes, and wearing a lab coat) I've ever seen. The man sat down besides me. "Good morning fellow monsters!" he exclaimed. B.O.B.'s jaw literally hit the floor. "Dr. C?" I asked. "Yes?" He gave me a what is so odd look. My hand shaking, I handed him my spoon. Dr. C looked, gasped, and fell off his stool in shock. Everyone stopped doing whatever they were doing, and looked at the fallen Dr. C. "Note to self. Get cafeatrea get comftable backstands for their stools," he mumbled.

The General suddenly came flying in. (Dr. C had gotten up already.) "What's all this 'there's a new cute new guy working here' stuff?! I hadn't hired anybody since last Valintimes D-who the heck are you?!" General asked, noticing Dr. C. "Dr. C, of course, Mr. General." General was stunned. "Oh. I knew that."

* * *

** Coverton's POV**

** I looked at Dr. C in disbelief. I grinned evily. My evil plan was finally going according to plan! **

** With me barely noticing, Sweepe sat down besides me. "Coverton, I do believe that Dr. C is turning into a werewolf." Shocked that Sweepe had figured it out so fast, I said weakly," What?" "When I scanned his left arm yesturday, there was a werewolf vireas spreading rapidly. I tried to tell him, but he locked the door on me. Now, it says that he's 50% werewolf!" I nearly chuckled evily again. "Oh, um, I just knew there was something wrong with the poor doc, but I couldn't explain it! Here." I handed Sweepe a poison. "This antiodtote will help him not becoming into an uncontrolable beast tonight. It is the full moon, afterall." I grinned as Sweepe went off to tell Dr. C and B.O.B . That "antiodtote" would make the uncontrolable werewolf Dr. C kill the General. Without him I could move mountains... **

** No, literally.**

* * *

** Dr. C's POV**

**B.O.B **and I were walking towards my labotory, talking about the Texas Rangers game coming on next Tuesday, when Sweepe walked up to us. "Dr. C, you must see this! You're turning into a werewolf!" B.O.B gasped. "What?! That's, that's s-oh." (Sweepe had shoved his scanner in my face to show that I was now 61% werewolf.) "Wow Dr. C, they should now call you Dr. W!" B.O.B exclaimed. "Here." Sweepe handed me a green potion. "It makes the beast tame!" I groaned and put my head in my hands.


	4. Yes or no?

Chapter 4: Yes or no?

The General was dead. The doctor, her hands covered in blood, looked up at us and nodded. I walked up to the remains of the over-half-eaten General. The only way you could tell it was him, was because of the bit of green cloth and ripped remians of his badges left on his body. "Who could do such a thing?" Susan mumered. "We have a murder on the base," Link whispered. "More like a savege beast," I said slowly. Suddenly it hit me. A werewolf was a savege man eatting beast. What if...

Suddenly, I remembered. I remember going to bed then turning into the werewolf. Everything else seemed hazey.

* * *

"Hey Dr. C," the General had replied as I entered his quarters. He looked up and screamed. Then I attacked him.

* * *

I shuddered as I broke out of my trance. "You okay, Dr, C?" Susan asked. "Y-yeah. I just n-need to test this blood sample in my laboratory." "Okay Doc," B.O.B exclaimed happily. I rush into my room. "Sooooo, how tasty was he?" Coverton asked as soon as I walked in. I yelped out of surprise and jumped. Not expecting this, Coverton yelped and almost jump right out of his floating chair. I jabbed a finger a him. "You did this to me, didn't you?!" Coverton nodded slyly. "You figured it out pretty fast. But yes, I did. You see, an old friend of mine strached you. Then after I tricked Sweepe into giving you that poison, you did the dirty work for me." "I'll tell everyone on this base what you did," I exclaimed. Coverton shrugged. "Okay. I'll just leave to conquer this planet and Area Fifty-Something will be stuck with a werewolf. Unlike my race, Sweepe and humans have no cure for such a disease. Are you willing to risk the president's life, Link's life, I don't know, maybe even dear Susan's life? How many deaths will it take for you to realize that you're a beast? Just like me." "Dear Susan?" "Oh please. Everyone knows that you have a crush on her." Suddenly my cellphone started to ring and Coverton jumped again. "Either way, Dr. C, it's a win win for me, and a lose lose for you." I looked at my cellphone, all the way across the table. "I'll leave you to decide." Coverton had just left when he stuck his head right back in. "By the way, you have the most annoying ringtone ever. High School Musical 2: I don't Dance. Seriously." Coverton laughed as he left.

I walked over to my phone. Coverton was right, for once. I couldn't risk my friend's lives for my own. So, with a shaking hand, I pressed delete.

* * *

"Well, here I am. New home, sweet home," I muttered as I entered the shack. I was in the very woods, very shack really, that we had found the crazy man-beast a few weeks ago. (I had thought this might just be the place I'd belong.)

So after putting some logs in the fire and sighing, I looked my videos Susan, B.O.B, Link, and I had made back in Area Fifty-Something. Before long, though, I was out cold.

I didn't know if I was asleep or not, but I thought I heard vocies. "I'm guessing that's him." "I hope so. Has a weird favorite TV show doesn't he?"

_Ouch! Ouch!_ I opened my eyes and jumped up like a rocket. Two men stood before me. As I tried desperately to get the fire ants(they had stupidly put me on an anthill) I studied their appearance. One had long black hair and looked a lot healthier than the other. The one on his right looked ill and shappy.

"W-who are, Ouch, are you?" "I'm Siris Black and this is Remus Lupin," the one with the black hair said, pointing at himself and his college. "And you, Ouch!, captured me and brought me here because?" I said, finally geting the last fire ant off of me and letting in my surrondings. We were at what appeared to be a valley. It was still very dark, but the moon had gone hours ago.

"Sorry," said Lupin. "Dumbledore , the headmaster of Hogwarts and the leader of the Order of the Phoinx, thinks you might be helpful." "Dumbo-what?" "Dumbledore. He's been looking for new members and you seem like a likey canitdate." "And what is this Order of the Phoinx?" "The people who fight against Lord Voldemort. He's back. You in?" I thought for a moment. "Yes."

"Good.


	5. Dumbledore's Headquarters

"Oh Good Grief Molly! Let the poor man sleep!" Siris' rang out. "Oh, alright." I slowly opened my eyes and sat up as the door to my bedroom closed, leaving me in darkness.

The truth was, I didn't want to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw a flash of green light and heard a woman screaming. Giving up on my sleep, I got up and put on some of Lupin's ( mine was destroyed. Those won't normal fire ants) clothes. Yawning, I walked out of my room.

"Siris-Fred, George feet off the table." "Feet off the table, feet on the table," Arther and Molly Weasly's identical twins said. "Molly are you alright? You look like you've seen a gho-oh," Arther said. Siris' and Lupin's face got pale white when they saw me. "What?!" "You look just like James Potter before he died." "Oh-kay," I said slowly. I sat down by Fred and George. "Dumbledore says for you to come by his office when you're ready. Sorry about the spider-ant thing." "It's alright," I said, scratching my back.

* * *

My hair stuck up on end on the back of my neck as I walked into Dumbledore's office. After being informed of the wizarding world, I was terrorized that they wanted me, a Muggle, to fight Lord You-Know-Who-Whats-His-Face. Oh well.

A very old man stood, his back towards me, wearing some sort of robe. "Good morning, Dr. Cockroach isn't it?" Dumbledore said, turning to face me. I nodded. Dumbledore motioned for me to sit down. I did. "Mr. Dumbledore, I think you made a mistake. I'm not a good fighter, nerveless a wizard at the very least!" "I'm guessing then, that your very prense here is making that wand behind you on that desk is floating?" I whipped around, and saw a floating stick. I was amazed. "I'm a wizard?" "Yes," Dumbledore said as I got up, took the wand, and began to flick with it. "And that very wand is yours now. I need your help. "What?" I looked up from watching blue sparks flying out of my new wand. "I need you to watch a boy named Harry Potter and protect him." "But I have no clue about any magic!" "Tell you what. Every night you come here and I'll teach you magic once school starts. Okay?" I nodded.

Suddenly the door slammed open and in walked a woman all dressed in pink. With that feeling that she thought she was better than everyone else here, I watched her walk past me to suddenly stop. She turned around to face me. "Um, good morning?" I said, reaching out a hand. The lady looked at me with disgust and turned to Dumbledore again. She handed him an envelope and with a Hummf! she left.

* * *

Back at Siris' place I spent most of my time in my room. I felt alone. I wanted to go back to Area Fifty-Something. But I couldn't. Then I came to a conclusion. _They needed me._


	6. We leave the Dursleys at night, Mad-Eye

That night, something called dementors attacked Harry in a dark alley. He was fine but the Minstery of Magic wanted him out of Hogwarts. So Lupin, Mad-Eye, Kingsly Shacklebolt, Elphias Doge, Dedalus Diggle, Tonks, Hestia Jones, and I went to get him and get him ready for the hearing.

* * *

"Lower your wand, boy, before you take someone's eyes out," Mad-Eye Moody said to the boy standing above us on the stairs. "Professor Moody?" Harry asked. "I'm not so sure about this professor thing. I never got around to teaching, did I? Get down here so we can see you properly." Harry lowered his wand, but barely. "It's alright, Harry. We've come to take you away." " Professor Lupin? Is that you?" "Yes." "Why are we in the dark?" Tonks asked, lifting her wand. _"Lumos."_ Her wand tip lit up. A boy, age about 15, with hair like mine, was on the stairs, smiling.

"Ooh, he looks just like I thought he would. Wotcher Harry!" Tonks said. "Yeah, I see what you mean, Remus. He looks just like James," Kingsly mumered. "Except the eyes. He has Lily's eyes," Elphias Doge said. "Are you quite sure this is him, Remus? It'll just be great to take an imposter home with us." "Harry, what creature is your Patroons?" "A stag." "That's him, alright.

'This is Alastor Moody, Harry," Lupin said, motioning to Moody. "Yeah, I know," Harry said uncomftbley. "And this is Nymphadora-" "_Don't_ call me Nymphadora, Remus," Tonks said, madning. "It's Tonks." "This is Nymphadora, who likes being called Tonks. This is Kingsly Shacklebolt(Kingsly nodded politely.), Elphias Doge-" "We've meet!" Elphias said excitedly. "This is Dedalus Diggle, Hestia Jones, and finally, Dr. Cockroach, Harry." "Hi," I said slowly. "Hi." "A surprisingly number of people volutered to come and get you." "Well more the merry," Mad-Eye said. "Very clean, aren't they, these Muggles? My dad's one and he's a down right slob." I laughed. "So is my friend Link." Everyone turned to face me. "It's his nickname." "Oh." "_Damn it!_ This eye," Mad-Eye grabbed on to his swirling eye. "Ever since that scrum wore it, it keeps sticking." "You do know that is disgusting Moody?" Tonks asked. "Go get me a glass of water, would you Harry?" Harry did. "Cheers," Mad-Eye said as he pulled out his swirling eye and ploping it into the water. I wanted to vomitt. "How are we going to wherever we're going?" Harry asked. "Brooms." My eyes popped. "Brooms?" I whispered to Remus. Lupin nodded. "I can't ride a broom!" "Relax, it's easy." "Lupin says you're good at riding,'' Mad-Eye said. "He's great," Lupin said, gleeming.

After Tonks and Harry went to pack, my phone started to ring. Everyone looked at it. "What is that thing?" Elphias asked. I pulled out my phone. "You've never seen a cell phone?" Over half of them nodded. "Lupin tells me you can't ride a broom," Mad-Eye said. I nodded. "Very well. You can ride with me." I nodded again, wishing that Mad-Eye would put his eye back in. After 15 minutes or so, we left. All was fine.

Well, of course, intill Mad-Eye wanted to freeze us. "ARE YOU MAD, MAD-EYE?!" I had yelled. "No," Mad-Eye said, washing the very thought away with his hand like it was a smell in the air. I seriously wanted to hit him.


	7. Spider-ants, Kreacher, and doxies

I loved hearings. Especially when the accused is found guilty. But now, as I stood, my arms folded, watching Kreacher do something, I felt guilty.

"SO YOU HAVEN'T BEEN IN THE MEETINGS, BIG DEAL! YOU'VE STILL BEEN HERE, HAVEN'T YOU? YOU'VE STILL BEEN TOGETHER! ME, I'VE BEEN STUCK AT THE DURSLEY'S FOR A MONTH! AND I'VE HANDED MORE THAN YOU TWO'VE EVER MANAGED, AND DUMBLEDORE KNOWS IT! WHO SAVED THE SORERER'S STONE? WHO GOT RID OF RIDDLE? WHO SAVED BOTH OF YOUR SKINS FROM THE DEMENTORS?!"  
I felt horrible. "Poor kid," I thought. "Wait, what exactly is Kreacher doing?" I squinted to see that Kreacher was holding a full-fledged spider-ant. Now I've only been in the wizarding world for a day, but I do recall Sirius saying that the full-fledged spider-ants were actually deadly, (not like the ones that were in that anthill.)

"Oh you'll do just fine, yes you will," Kreacher said, holding the creature like it was a precious thing. He lowered it to the floor, certainly unaware that I was watching nearby.

"Now friend, go and kill my master."

Before I had the chance to stop the poisonous spider-ant, it disappeared into one of the many creaks in the old hallway walls. Molly entered the hallway. "Kids, Dr. Cockroach, the meeting is over! It's dinner time!" Fred and George suddenly appeared out of thin air. Molly jumped a little . "You don't have to whip out your wands every six seconds!" I snickered at this. Leaving Molly and the twins behind, I meet up with someone that I very foggily remembered. Like when you watch on TV show with one very minor character, than watch another with the same character, but as a major one. And you're stuck wondering where you saw them before.

When the man turned and saw me, his eyes widened for a mere second. "It appears someone knows the spell of revising the dead," he said, before walking away. Thinking he meant my clothes (they were rather old and shappy) I shrugged it away.

Suddenly, I noticed an ear on a flesh-colored string extending it's was down the stairs. Curious, I looked up to find Fred and George. _"Damn it!"_ I swore I heard Fred say as they saw me and started to pull up the ear. I started up the stairs. They started to run.

As soon as I had them cornered in one room a loud crash could be heard. "Tonks!" Molly yelled. "Sorry!" Tonks wailed. "It's that stupid umbrae stand. Second time I tripped over it today….." A woman started to scream as I open the door, to find George and Fred snickering. "What is(By-products) all(Half-breeds) about?!" I yelled. "I put a tripping spell on Tonks," George said, trying hard not to laugh as another crash was heard. "She was already extra clumsy to begin with, though," Fred said.

Molly and Sirius were fighting. It was dinner time, and after Mundunges had nearly killed me and Ron with his joke, Sirius brought up Lord Voldermort. I had to say, it was fun watching other people fighting, instead of constantly fighting myself. Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Ginny, Remus, and I watched back and forth with quiet contempt.

**Early morning the next day…..**

"This means war," I thought as the doxies laughed at me. I grimaced. We were having a war with a house. Man, I never thought I'll say that. Or those little blue creatures could be such a pain in the neck.

"Ahhhhhhh, Dr. Cockroach, why did you spray me?!" Ginny suddenly wailed. "Huh? Oh, so sorry. My eyesight is just really horrible today," I said, taking off my gloves and rubbing my eyes. I had sprayed Ginny with doxy poison. "Here, wear these," Molly said, leaving and returning with a pair of glasses. "Bill used to need them. I don't know why I kept them." "Thanks Molly." I put them on.

"Where is Dr. Cockroach?" Susan asked, searching my once laboratory. "Hey Susan, look at this!" Link yelled, rushing towards her and handing her a letter.

_ Dear Susan, Link, and B.O.B,_

_I'm sorry about all of this. I didn't mean to kill the General, honestly. I'm a werewolf now and I'm unable to control the beast within. I have left to make sure you guys will stay safe from me. Don't go looking for me. But if you ever find the cure, Sweepe has my DNA sample. She'll be able to find me. But until you find it, don't go looking. I might kill one of you. And dear Susan, I've always had a crush on you._

_ Bye,_

_ Dr. Cockroach._

Susan gasped. "So, I'm guessing we're going to Sweepe's room?" Link asked. Susan nodded.

* * *

I got bit by a toaster. Sirius, Harry, Fred, George, and I were helping Molly clean out the kitchen when it happened.

"Dr. Cockroach, what is it like, in the U.S?" Ginny asked, walking in. "It's just like, come off the wall you stupid toaster!, here, excepted for the magic and all." Fred chuckled at my answer. I pulled and pulled the toaster and it's plug, trying to get it off the wall, when suddenly, CRASH! I looked up. Tonks had manged to break her fourth plate today by tripping over the same stool. "Tonks!" Molly yelled. "Sorry!"

Searing pain suddenly filled my hand. I looked down to find it swelling up and the toaster starting to shake. "Um, I'm not from around here, so are toasters suppose to shake and bite people here?!" I asked. Sirius leaned over the toaster just as four doxies and and silver snuffbox flew out. "Ahhhhhh!" Sirius yelled in shock.


	8. Child's Minstery of Magic play

I awoke to my cellphone. _Ring! Ring!_ Without even reading the message, I deleted it. No chances. I was in darkness. I had gotten used to the sudden screaming of Mrs. Black, but this was scary. "I'm gonna kill you, I'm coming to kill you, Black is the last color you'll ever see..." Suddenly, I realized that wasn't Mrs. Black. I sat up to see Kreacher's full-fledged spider-ant on my bed crawling towards my neck. It looked like it ate some of Molly's pesticide. Black liquid was slowly coming out of it's mouth, it's pliers looked two times sharper, and it looked five times bigger. I gasped.

Using the book B.O.B had bought me, for one of my birthdays, I swung it off my bed. "I'm gonna kill you, I'm coming, I'm coming James Potter," it hissed at me as I rose my book. "What?!" I exclaimed, lowing my book. "James Potter is dead meat," it hissed before my bedroom door opened. Lupin walked in. "Oh good, you're up. Dumbledore wants to see you at the Minstery of Magic after Harry's Hearing today." I nodded. "Ouch!" I yelped as the spider-ant bite me and ran off. "What?!" "Hit my foot on my bed." "Oh."

* * *

I merely gapped. I was at the Minstery of Magic, and it was the coolest thing I've ever seen! "James Potter?" an elderly woman asked. "Huh? Oh, no that's not me. I'm Dr. Cockroach." "Doctor, eh?" said a voice behind me. I turned. It was the lady that was at Dumbledore's office ealier! "Yes." She reached out a hand to me. "Sorry, about last time. Didn't know you worked at the Minstery." "I, um, thanks?" "Umbridge." "Huh?" The lady rolled her eyes. "It's my name."

I felt strangely at ease here. I never did at Area Fifthy-Something. I mean I felt at ease there, kinda, but not like this. I didn't see why all these nice people could not believe Dumbledore.

I was walking down the hall when I heard it. "You sure, Lucius? I might be abl-" "No. The Dark Lord says he will get Harry Potter to do it." I walked backwards till I was standing in the doorway of another hallway. This one was much larger, and had glass orbs everywhere. On the frame of the doorway was the words: **The Department of Mysteries.** A tall white-haired man and a man that looked like a mouse were the only two there. I hid behind the wall as Lucius Malfoy looked my dirction. "Did you hear that?" "What?" Lucius grabbed the mouse-like man by the collar. "Don't lie to me." "I, um, heard you. T-t-hat's a-a-a-all." He laughed nevously. Lucius put him down as two wizards entered the hallway. I joined them. "Did you hear that Dumbledore is here, in the Minstery of Magic?!" one said. The other one nodded. Wait a minute... "Kingsly?" I whispered. Kingsly turned around. "Who are you, young child?" "Kingsly, it's me, Dr. Cockroach,wait why is my voice squeaky?" I looked down and nearly fainted. I was a child! Lucius walked up to us. "Kingsly, do you know this child?" "Um, yes. He's Auther Weasly's cousin's cousin's son." "Oh." "Come on, Gabe," Kingsly said, trying to drag me along. Before I could go, though, Lucius Malfoy grabbed my shoulder. " What are you up to child?" I shrugged. "I don't know." Lucius scrowled.


	9. Dr Herbert RL Cockroach, James Potter

Once we were in Kingsly's office, Kingsly slowly closed the door and bended down low to meet me in the eyes. (I was increadly small.) " What's going on Dr. Cockroach?" "I don't know. The only thing I think that might have caused it was Kreacher's full-fledged spider-ant. It bite me this morning." "Spider-ant? That's odd..." "Any way you can turn me back to normal?" Kingsly stood up and sighed. " 'fraid not. Weirdly, the spider-ant's posion didn't kill you, but gave you the power to grow young again. Not a bad thing, in my opinen." "How-" "Think big." "Okay." I did.

I thought of Susan. I thought of Insectosaurus. And lastly, I thought of the tower of Paris, just as I began to grow...

* * *

"Can you look him up Sweepe?" Susan asked. Sweepe nodded. "Herbert R.L. Cockroach?" Link nodded. "He's dead." "What?!" Link cried. "Look." Sweepe showed Team Monsters his little laptop computer. On it was a whole page about Herbert R.L. Cockroach. "But isn't the year 2014?" Sweepe asked. "Yes. Why?" Susan asked. "This is why Susan," Link said, handing her the laptop.

_ Herbert R.L Cockroach (1984-2007)_

_ Born in 1984, Herbert ReallyLines Cockroach is considered the weirdest of all the noble scientist in U.S history. Living in Virgina for 16 years, he than moved to New York City. In 2004, he invented the floating laptop, only for it to explode later in his face. Trying to inpress the top scientist of the time period, Mr. Gabesiea Huntsenada, he invented the Infesatasable Potion in 2007. Having failed to inpress Gabesiea Huntsenada, he got drunk and caught up in a gang fight, wich cost him his life._

The room was quiet for awhile as everyone took this in. Sweepe took back his labtop. "Dr. Cockroach, isn't Dr. Cockroach?" Susan asked. Sweepe nodded. "But than who is our friend Dr. C?" Link exclaimed. "His DNA says our friend is a werewolf, yes. But a docter, no." A man named James Potter appeared.

* * *

I was going to Hogwarts. First things, first, I had to. Since I kept turning into a 15-year-old, Dumbledore said it might just be the thing I needed. ( It also would be easier for me to learn magic.

Boggart. I was fighting a Boggart. First, it took the shape of a dead Harry Potter and Ron Weasly, next in this order(more or less), was a full moon(Lupin's), Dememtors and the Minstery of Magic(Sirius'), and a little alien all to familer...(mine).

Ginny turned to face me. "Why are you afraid of this adorble little thing?!" "What is it?" Ron asked, wondering to poke it's square head or not. "It's an alien I used to know at Area Fifty-Something. He's a child prodigie." "Isn't that a good thing?" Auther Weasly asked. I sighed. "Yes. It's just...with him so cute and likeable, he might just have the power to make himself smarter than me. Or at least to the other people.

'It doesn't bother me that he's smart, but what if he replaces me? The president almost did once. Then I wouldn't have had a place to go." "She is smart," Lupin said, turning to face me. "She?" I asked. "It's not clear?!" "Don't poke me!" Sweepe the Boggart yelled suddenly. We all turned to see that Ron had poked her.

* * *

"What does it say about James Potter?" Susan asked. "It says here that he's the husband of Lily Potter and the father of Harry Potter. Having been killed in a house fire, his remains were never found. The only thing they had to lay down was his broken glasses. Oh, and he lived in England." "So," B.O.B said," this could only mean one thing..." The room fell silent, waiting."What B.O.B?!" Sweep asked finally. "What?" Susan and Link groaned.


	10. Draco finds out Weasly triplets are born

**The Potal: Hey there! Part 1: the wolf emerges is now done! Now comes Part 2: Umbridge thinks wrong and the death of James Potter...**

* * *

The woman in next door to us cried out as a first year started to yell because he didn't have enough money for a candy frog. I snickered. "Seriously, Dr. C, act your age!" **Hermione **said. " I am. 16-years-olds are mean to adults, right?" Ron laughed until Hermione gave him a dark look. "No." "Alright." Suddenly, my phone rang. Taking it out of my back potect, someone suddenly swiped it from me. "Oh look! I'll bet this is his father!" a boy with pale skin and wore the Slyithen symbol on his uniform. "Give that back Draco!" Ron yelled. Draco turned to me. "I see your father was a cockroach." Draco gave me back my phone. " You better listen to me and my gang, or we'll tell." Draco and his gang left. My face turned white with fear. "_If they found out, I'll be doomed,"_ I thought. "Don't worry Dr. C. Draco and his gang can't do anything," Ron said. I sat down, now wishing I hadn't eaten all those candy frogs and jelly beans. "Yes, yes he can." "What do you mean?" I handed Harry and Ron my cellphone , with it showing my true identy. "That's not my father. That's me." Ron gasped. "You're a _g-giant cockroach_?!" he yelped. "I used to be. 'Till I was strached by a werewolf. I wasn't always a giant cockroach, though," I said, noticing Harry and Hermione's looks. "I was once a Muggle human scientist, till my experiment went wrong." "No kidding," Ron whispered. Hermione stapped him in the elbow. "If they found out, I'll be doomed," I whispered.

A girl with white hair and a boy with the weirdest plant I've ever seen walked in as Hermione whispered something to me something I'll never forget. "We won't tell anyone. If we can hide the fact where Sirius Black is, we won't tell your secret." I nodded.

* * *

"That has got to be the most pink I've ever seen on a woman," Fred said as Professor Umbridge stepped up onto the stage. "She's the lady from my hearing!" Harry whispered to Hermione and Ron. "I think she looks hot," Dean whispered to me.

We were now eating dinner at the great hall. I had to say, this was way better than garbege...

"That's just gross, Dean," I whispered back. "Oh, shut up," a younger gryiffodor girl said. "I'm trying to listen." "I think we will all become great friends," Professor Umbridge said smiling. Fred, George, and I grinned. "That's what you think," I whispered. Fred and George turned to look at me. "You want to join us?" I nodded. "You bet."

* * *

"So, Dr. C is James Potter?" Susan exclaimed. Sweepe nodded. B.O.B gasped. "So, he was faking it the whole time?! Why would he do that?" Link said. Sweepe shrugged. "I don't know."


	11. I get attacked by a Professor

I think a prossefor hates me. Without as much as reason, Prossefor Snape made me stay after class. As he and the Bloody Maroon talked outside in the hall, I thought curiously back to the dream I had last night.

* * *

It was dark and raining. I was in a weird temple like thing with a hunged creäture before me. "What are y-you?" I stammered. "W-why a-am I here?" The creäture rose and stepped where I could see him. It was Death.

With long ripped cloaks wrapped around its face and body, it snarled. "Last time they got away, but no, you're not. No you're STOP!"

* * *

I opened my eyes to see that I was back in Prosser Snape's office, strangling him. I quickly let go and said," Don't worry. I get myself out." But before I could excape, however, Snape called my name. "Herbert R.L Cockroach!" I stopped, wondering what a _mad_ Snape would do to a student.

I've heard the rumors. How he was a bloodless creäture and he tortured his students that disobeyed. My hair on the back of my neck rose as he call me again. I stopped and turned around. "_Yes?"_ I squeaked. Snape smiled. "I never thought the day would come when I would have the chance to kill James Potter," he said, drawing out his wand. "_Expelliarmus!" _Snape yelled as I drew back my wand. My wand clattered onto the floor, somewhat five feet away. "Oh crap," I whispered as I dogged Snape's Expulso. "What, you're not gonna fight back? The _all mighty_ James Potter who can do anything is not gonna fight back?!" Snape snarled, clearly enjoying this. "I'm not Jam-ahhhhhh!" I yelped as Snape hit me with Diffindo, ripping open my flesh near my lip. I cried out in pain and fell to the floor. Snape put away his wand. "You're pathic." He turned to go. I quickly pulled out one of my few remaining Dr. Cockroach inventions I had left out of my pocket and fired away. "Ahhhh!" Snape cried, mostly out of shock as he fell to the ground. '' What the hell are you talking about?! My name is Dr. Herbert ReallyLines Cockroach! Not your _James Potter!" _I yelled as I stood up and praticly shoved my weapon up his nose.

Snape smiled. "You don't remember do you? Your own son is here and you don't even reginoze him?" "I don't have a son." I wipped the blood off my lip. "Look up the Cunfreada Spell in the Libray."

* * *

"Look in the Libray, yeah right," I wispered as I walked out of the dungen. "Hey Herbert!" Fred yelled, running up to me. "Care to join us? We'll make Umbridge think her room is haunted." "First of all, I think she knows that ghosts exsits, and no." "Dang Herb, did you have a run in with the Slytherins?" George asked. "Um, no. Snape hit me." "_Hit you! Blimy Herbert!_ Now you have a chance to get rid of Snape! Dumbledore won't allow it. We've been trying to get him to break for years!" " Not like that. He wanted to k-kill me. Told me himself."

"Harry, Herbert! Go tell Dumbledore!" "No!" Harry and I yelled. Ginny, Ron, Hermione, Harry, and I were in the Gryindor headroom, watching the flames of the fire. "And why not?" Ginny asked. "Because, I, um, think he's right." "What?!" "Are you bloody mad?!" Ron yelled. "Well, just think about it. Every night, I have nightmares about a woman and I dieing, and everyone thinks I'm someone named James Potter. I can't even remember what that friend of mine name is. , I think. I keep remembering thinks like liking werewolfs." Harry's and Fred( he and George had just walked in) eyebrows rose.


	12. The Easter Vornicarn?

It was the Easter holidays.

I had just finished making the potion I needed for my last Potion class before the Easter holidays, when it happened. Neville suddenly came in the Griffindor's dormitory, screaming his head off. "What is it Neville?" Hermione asked, getting up at once. I quickly put away my cauldron. (Neville was very known for spilling them.)

"T-There's a m-M-monster right outside the Griffindor's dormitory!" "A what?!" Harry and Ron asked in union. "If you're talking about Umbridge, you might not want to yell. I think that lady is part owl," I muttered. "No, it's this big purple dog thing!" Neville practically yelled. "Purple dog thing?" I asked.

* * *

It was two weeks before Easter as the teams Monsters and Aliens found out that the General was, indeed, alive. They found him in the cupboard beneath the island in the kitchen.

"What?! Dr. C is a werewolf and he ran off to England?!" "Yes, he thought he might hurt us, because he thought he ate you," Link explained. "No! Coverton locked me in here, saying that there Sqweep had a puppy in here." Coverton's face suddenly turned pale as everyone turned to face him. "Um, sorry?" "We have to get him back. Don't know what kind of trouble he'll get into."

The General turned to face Susan as a fight broke out between Link and Coverton. "Do you think Vornicarn would work?"

Back at Hogwarts

"What in the world is that?" Fred asked, as Fred, George, Lee, Harry, Ron, and Ginny turned to face me. We had sticked out our heads from the Fat Lady's door to see the huge purple dog. I shrugged. "How am I supposed to know?"

I was beginning to lose my memory of Area Fifty-Something and before. I remember Susan, little bits of Link, a blue creature whose name is long forgotten, a floating gray thing, and Sqweep. I was starting to think that I was always half cockroach, half man till I had gotten strached.

The huge purple thing sniffed the air suddenly and turned to face us. "Damn it!" I heard Fred mutter. "Nice dog-like thing?" I asked. The huge purple dog thing gave what I think was a smile and ran towards us. "Apparently, it likes you," George said, grinning, as it licked my face. "Oh, be quiet," I groaned as I tried to push the dog-like animal away. The dog yelped happily as it ignored my efforts and continued licking. "Awwwwww, do you think Dumbledore will let you keep him?" Ginny asked, rubbing behind his ears. "He is kinda cute," Fred started. "In a way," George finished. "What are you going to name it?" Ron asked. "Well, what about Sycamore?" I asked. Fred and George shrugged. " It's your, um, whatever it is, Herb."

To keep Umbridge and others from finding out, Dean and others helped me cast a shrinking spell on Sycamore. Now he was the size of a new born puppy.

**That night **

"Awwwwww!" "He's soooooo cute!" "Where did you get him?" "I'll trade you 60 Bertie Box Beans!"

Fred, George, Harry, Ron, and I were cooing the Gryffindor girls, while Hermione stood in the corner, disapprovingly. I looked up to look Hermione in the eye. "Oh, come on Hermione." Fred looked up from telling the story of how _he_ had found the puppy. "She thinks it's an alien called the Vornicarn." "Herbert, may I have a word with you?" Hermione asked. I stood up. "Um, sure. I guess."

We walked out of the Gryffindor dormitory. "What is it?" "You remember the time Snape attacked you, right?" Hermione whispered. I rubbed my face where a faint trance of the scar Snape had left was. "Hermione, how could I forget? I still have the scar!" "Well, I've been doing some research and-" "Oh not you too!" I groaned. Though I believed that I might not really be Herbert R.L Cockroach, I did not believe that I was this James Potter. "Herbert R.L Cockroach died years ago." "But then why-" "I don't know either. But I don't like Sycamore. I think you should tell Dumbledore, Herbert." I was silent for a moment. Finally, I said, "Fine. But don't call me Herbert. Call me Justin Time."

"Why-" "Years ago, my original name was Justin Time till my dad abandoned my mother and me. Then when my mother remarried, my name became Herbert R.L Cockroach. Or I thought. I did get bit by thousands of Spider-ants."


	13. The werewolf convention

Vornicarn never did come back. Neither did Dr. Cockroach.

"I still don't see why we need to save Dr. C. He stole Vornicarn," Stab'bi muttered under her breath, her arms cross, and leaning against the wall. "Because he's a member of our team, not just some space dog!" the General yelled. Sqweep tried to talk as fighting broke out between the General and Stab'bi.( Link and B.O.B were already fighting Coverton.) "It says here- Coverton be quiet- it says- EW LINK, YOU JUST SCARED ME FOR LIFE, DID YOU KNOW THAT? NO, B.O.B DON'T LICK THAT, THAT'S UN-" "Quiet!" I yelled, growing into Giantomica. I grabbed the General and Stab'bi and separated them. "Dr. Cockroach is our friend. He could be in terrible trouble right now, and yet we're fighting? And," I said pausing, "He's my Derek."

Coverton chuckled. "He's probably long gone human. He's probably already dating another werewolf. Awful creature's they are, werewolves." Before I could kill Coverton, Sqweep gasped. "What?" Link asked. "It says here, he's being held captive by the infamous Sirius Black in London!" B.O.B gasped. "He's in here and he's famous?! Oh, we have to find him!" Link sighed and patted a smiling B.O.B on the shoulder. "Yeh, B.O.B, that's it."

I was gonna die. I just knew it.

I sighed as I slapped a mosquito off my face. Lupin chuckled as my boots got stuck in some greenish mud. "You know, we could've been there already, if someone didn't say no to the port key," he laughed. "I told you, I don't fly. My feet stay on the ground." Lupin turned and began to walk again. It was the second day into the Easter holidays and was I painting Easter eggs or dancing? No, I was in a swamp, heading my way towards my first ever werewolf convention. Suddenly, some bushes rumbled and a frog croaked. We quickly turned around and raised our wands. Man-Beast suddenly jumped into view. "Oh wow, this is the coolest werewolf convention ever, well actually I've seen better so this is lame, but it could be fun, you know, maybe we could be f-""Please Shut UP!" Lupin cried. I groaned. "Not you again." Lupin turned to face me, wand still raised. "You know him?" "Sadly yes."

Well, let's just say our lodge cabin was disgusting. With one bedroom and restroom, there wasn't much room to try to escape the smell. Spiders and cockroaches were everywhere along with what I hope wasn't greenish-brown rotting poop all over the floor. "Well I know that the main point of us being here is for us to convince other werewolves to our side, but why do we have to be _here_?" I asked. "Because," Lupin said, putting his stuff near the best bed," There are wizard werewolf hunters out here. They live in these conditions. So when they see this house, they think we're wizard werewolf hunters as well. Also, there's Greyback." "Oh wow, this place is gross, it couldn't be grosser, I'm glad I don't really live here, the wizard werewolf hunters..." (I had started to ignore the rest of Man-Beast's words by now.) Lupin pulled out three cups. "Tea?"

I groaned. Lupin's eyes rose over his book. "Are you okay?" "Not really,"I said, sitting down on a bed and taking a sip of tea. "I j-just f-feel dizzy," I said. Lupin closed his book and refilled my cup. "You're werewolf disease is kicking in. Right after you get bitten, you don't turn werewolf. I'll give you two more full moons before you start turning into a werewolf." I nodded.


	14. The Other, Other Prime Mister

It was a cold rainy night in Britain as the telephone in the Prime Minster's office rang. The Prime Minster sighed and picked up the phone. This was all he needed. Another attack. For the last six days now, every night someone has been bit and killed by the wolf-thing. But the Prime Mister knew better, even though he wished he didn't.

Colines Fudge had appeared the second night after the call to state that a werewolf named Greyback was on the loose.

"Hello?" The Prime Minster sighed. "This is no time for hellos mister! Your infamous Sirius Black has our werewolf friend captive!" The Prime Mister groaned, putting his head into his hands. "What?!" the voice on the other end of the line( the General of the U.S.A as it turned out) yelled. "Now we have another werewolf situation." He told the General about Greyback. "We're sending our team Monster and team Alien on the case!" "No, wai-" The General hanged up.

* * *

I was back at the Order of the Phoenix's headquarters. Author Weasley had just been bitten by a snake and Harry, Ron, Fred, Hermione, and George were heading to the wizarding hospital with Molly and a dog Sirius.

"Do you want my autograph?" Lockheart asked earnestly. He smiled like a four-year-old getting praised as the smiling nurse patted him on the head. "He's wanting to give autographs again. That means some of his memories just might come back." I looked at Auther. "You're okay?" I asked. Auther nodded. He motioned to the man laying in the closest bed from him. "That guy just got bit by a werewolf. No cure. Right now the nurses are trying to tell him how to live a semi-normal life." "Should he in a room with other patients?" Molly whispered as the man groaned, staring up at the moving fan. "Molly, there's two full weeks before the full moon. He's fine." "He's also got some months before he starts," I mumbled. Author turned to face me. "What?" "Nothing."

"Not mentioning any names, I told him about the two nice werewolf's that I knew. "

"What he say?" George asked. "Said he'll give me another bite if I don't shut up."

I chuckled. Auther motioned to the other bed in the room. A woman was laying on it, groaning. "Now she won't tell what bit her. Makes you think that she was handing illegal stuff, huh?" Molly and the dog Sirius nodded.

Auther Weasley died that night. To find out, that woman, Geogia Womadjngsj, was handing not legal stuff. And a not legal creature( they didn't say what exactly) bit and killed Auther Weasley.


	15. Hell with Umbridge

I banged my head on the oak table. The Easter holidays were over with, and it had been a week of hard, hated, work. "Are you okay Herb?" Fred asked. I shrunk( I tend to do that when I get pressured) and sighed. I looked across the table at Fred and George. "No. I have soooo much work to do. School, help the house elfs , Dumbledore's lessons," I paused to look at my messed up, bleeding hand, "and not to mention Professor Umbrigde's detentions." "Humf!" My eyes widened and I turned around. "Yes Professor Umbrigde?" "Why are you wearing Dr. Cockroach's clothes?" she asked in her usual, non-cheery, morning voice. I looked down. "Oh, um... Must of grabbed his clothes by mistake, you know of those pesky washing clothes spells," I said, before getting up and rushing out of the Great Hall. "I'll never understand that boy," Professor Umbrigde muttered.

I came back in a moment later, my true age. "Ah, there you are Dr. Cockroach," Professor Umbrigde said fondly. There was something in her eyes, a twinkle maybe?_ "Oh boy, she better not like like me,"_ I thought. "Yes Professor Umbrigde?" I asked. Professor Umbrigde smiled. "Colines Fudge, has made me the Official Hogwarts insepecter." "That's a thing?" I asked. Professor Umbrigde frowned. "Anyway, I want to make you Defense against the Dark Arts teacher." My eyes widened for the second time that morning. "Really? Me?!" Professor Umbrigde nodded. I made a fake grin, hoping that my nervousness wasn't showing through. I rubbed the back of my neck. "Gee, thanks." "Also, I wanted you to ask me out on a date." "Wait, ask you on a date?!" I said, nearly barfing right there. Professor Umbrigde did a fake gasp. "You want me to go on a date with you!? That would be wonderful! Come on!" She said as she began to drag me away. "Help me!" I mouthed as Fred and George snickered.

* * *

As the brooms flew by, so did the cheers of the Griffindors. "Go Harry! Go Ron!" Hermione yelled at the top of her lungs, which I wished she hadn't. My ears were damaged enough. Last time Umbrigde had took me out on a date, I'd swore to slap Professor McGonagall for making him go.

They were at the Quidditch field, watching the Slythens against the Griffindors. Ron had just got out onto the field, when suddenly, Draco and his house started to sing:

**Weasly is our king,**

** Weasly is our king.**

** Weasly was born in a bin**

** Weasly is our king,**

** Weasly will let us win**

"Those assholes," I muttered. Hermione turned to face me, shocked. "Oh, sorry. Here, cover for me, " I said as I started climbing down, under the bleachers. "Justin, I'm a prefect!" I looked up at her. "So? Would you want me to sit here if you were in Ron's position?" "That's not it. They'll gonna ask me what happen, and-" "Let them know that the fire started in Draco's underwear because he deserved it after his awful singing skills." "Justin!" Hermione yelled, barely hear able over the Griffindors cheering over Kate's score.

I had gotten very close to the Slythern's bleachers when it happened. Professor Snape grabbed me. Covering my mouth with his hand, he pulled me over to the shadows and pulled out his wand. "Trying to prank innocent Slytherns, eh, James Potter?" I sighed. "First, they're not innocent, and second, I'M NOT JAMES POTTER! I'm sorry for whatever this James Potter did to you, but I'm not him, you hear?!" Professor Snape lowered his wand. "Five hundred points from Griffindor." He turned to go. "And Mister Herbert, stop by my office after this Quidditch match, you're true age, you hear?" I nodded.


	16. The Missing Link Project

"Saved Weasley's neck, haven't you? Draco said. "I've never seen a worse seeker, but than again... he was born in a bin... Did you like my lyrics, Potter?" Harry did not answer. Herminone and I had rushed up to the now cheering Griffindor team. "We wanted to write a few more verses," Draco started. "But we couldn't find rhymes for fat and ugly-we wanted to sing about his mother you see." I whipped around. "Why don't I give you some little song I came up with?" "-we couldn't fit in useless loser either-for his father you see-" Draco said , ignoring me. Fred stopped shaking my hand and he and George whipped around. "Leave it," Angelina said at once, taking Fred by the arm. "-but you like the Weasleys, don't you Potter? Can't see how you stand the stink, but I suppose when you've been dragged up by Muggles, even the Weasley's hovel smells okay-" Harry and I had to grab onto Fred and George.

"Or perhaps you can remember what your mother's house stank like Potter, and Weasley's hole reminds you of it." Harry let go of Fred and punched Draco as hard as he could. Screams were heard and I closed my eyes.

"Say what now?!" I exclaimed. Angelina sighed. "With Fred, George, and Harry off the team, we need someone to play. Please." "No," I said, walking away. "But-" I turned to face her. "Last time I'd flied, I was scared half to death." "Please. We need someone. And I really don't want someone who Draco can tease easily." "You think Draco can't get me to act like that?" "Well yea. Everyone thinks so. Rumor has it, that you got that scar when Crabbe attacked you ." I thought about this. I would need to thank George and Fred for that. I sighed. "Fine."

"Heard you joined the Griffindor team," Snape snarled. "Heard that most people hate you too?" I said, a little mad for his snooping. "I was going to offer you help in Potions. You're failing. Terribly." "Did I ever say I love your hair?" "Oh shut up. Meet me, your full age you, every time the Griffindor's have Potions class. Deal?" I nodded. "Okay."

It was my first helping Professor Snape class today. It, was, well, very odd.

** Link's POV:**

I slowly opened my heavy eye lids. What I saw made me want to scream in bloody murder. Three boys, wearing some sort of school uniform with a snake and the word: **Slytherin** on it, held dissecting tools. I was on a dissecting lab. I screamed. "Draco, Crabbe, Goyle! You were suppose to kill it before you harmed it!" Doc yelled as he walked up to the dissecting lab. I gasped. Was it really Doc? He looked the same, except for his longer and much shaggier hair and glasses. And was that a huge scar? "Doc, have they been beating you?" I asked. "What?" Doc asked. A man walked up to Doc and us. He turned to face Doc. "Did I not tell you to tell them to kill it before harming it?" Doc was about to answer when the door opened and in poked the head of a beat up half-giant?

"Oh, Professor Snape and Professor Time, is this a wrong time?" he asked. "Oh, no," Doc said. "We're just talking to this over grown tadpole." "Excuse me?! Doc, don't you remember me at all? We used to be partners!" The half-giant nearly did a double take when he noticed me. Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle snickered. "Is that the rare missing link? They're extremely rare." "Well, then, Hagrid you can have him. And as for you three, one point shall be taken from Slytherin for this mistake," Professor Snape said before turning. I looked Doc in the eye. "You can't honestly say you don't remember me Doc, can you?" I asked. "I think I would remember working with a giant tadpole looking missing link."

**Doc's POV:**

Hermione rushed into the Griffindor house. "Hagrid's back!" she exclaimed.


	17. Hagrid's Tale

Harry jumped up and rushed off to get his invisibility cloak. Herminone put on one of her knobby, self-made, house elf hats. I snickered. "What, it's cold out there!?" she exclaimed. We soon were at Hagrid's hut. Loud barks could be heard from inside. Harry raised his fist and banged on the door three times. "Hagrid, it's us!" Harry yelled. "Shoulda known!" came Hagrid's gruff voice. Ron, Hermione, and Harry beamed at one another as I shivered. It was freezing. "Bin home for three seconds... Out of the way Fang_ Out of the way_ you dozy dog..."

Hagrid's head appeared a few mere seconds later. Herminone screamed. "Merlin's beard, keep it down!" Hagrid said hastily, staring wildly over our heads. "Under that cloak, eh? Well, get in, get in!" "I'm sorry," Hermione gasped, as we squeezed into the hut. "I just-oh Hagrid!" "It's nuthin', it's nuthin'! " Hagrid said hastily as he closed the door and got to hurrying to close all the curtains, but Herminone and I continued to gaze up at him in horror. Hagrid's hair was matted with matted with congealed blood, and his left eye had been reduced to a puffy slit amid a mass of purple-and -black bruises. He moved gingerly, which made me suspect broken ribs. He must've used a spell when he had appeared in the classroom earlier today, because he looked not even half bad then. "What happened to you?" I asked. Hagrid turned to look me up and down. "And who 're you?" "Justin Time," I said, a little frightened. A giant black dog suddenly jumped on top of me and lick me half to death before Ron helped me pull the creature off. "Told you, though, it's_ nuthin',_" Hagrid said firmly. "Want a cuppa?" "Cuppa?" I asked. "Come off it," said Ron, " you've in a right state!"

"I'm telling you, I'm fine!" Hagrid said. "Blimey, it's good ter see you three again-had good summers did yah?" "Hagrid," I said slowly. "You've been attacked!" "Fer the last time it's nuthin', " Hagrid said firmly as ever. "Really? Would you say it was it was nothing if Justin turned up here with a pound of mince instead of a face?!" Ron exclaimed. Hagrid walked to an enormous wooden table that was in the middle of his hut and twitched aside a tea towel. Underneath it was a raw, bloody, green-tinged steak slightly larger than an average car tire. "You, aren't ,um, gonna eat that , right Hagrid?" I asked. "It looks sick and deadly." "It's dragon meat, it's s'ppose to. And no, I'm not going to eat it," Hagrid said, placing it on his left eye. I felt like I was gonna be sick. "What happened to you?" Harry asked again. "Can't tell yer, top secret," Hagrid said, slightly twitching. "Where you beaten up by giants?" I asked, thinking back to that book I'd read in my free time. "Giants! 'Ho said anything about giants?!" Hagrid said, panicking. "You did." Hagrid glared at me. "Come on Hagrid, you tell us what happened, and Harry can tell you about being attacked by the dementors-" Hagrid nearly choked on his mug and dropped his steak at the same time. "What'dda mean attacked by the dementors?" he exclaimed. "You haven't heard?" Hermione asked. "No. Not since I've left." "Well, the dementors came to Little Whinging and attacked my cousin and me, and then the Ministry of Magic had me expelled and-"

"WHAT?!"

"-and I had to go to a hearing and everything, but tell us about the giants first." "You were expelled?" "Tell us about your summer and I'll tell about mine." "Alright, alright," Hagrid said, pulling the dragon steak out of Fang's drooling mouth. "Please Hagrid don't..."

Then came a long story which I understood none of until...

"So Macnair's persuaded the giants to join You-Know-Who?" asked Hermione. "Hold yer hippogriffs, I haven't finished me story yet!" Hagrid said. For someone who didn't what to tell this story, he sure seemed to be enjoying this. "Me an' Olympe talked it over an' we agreed, jus' 'cause the Gurg looked like favorin' You-Know-How didn't mean all of 'em would. We tried to persuade some 'o' the others, the ones who hadn't wanted Golgomath as Gurg."

"And you knew who they were by?" I asked. "They were all beaten up of course," Hagrid said, as if it was a very stupid question. Then he lost me again. Suddenly, after the conversion had been going on again for awhile again, banging could be held outside. "It's _her!_" I whispered. "Hagrid hid our mugs!"Harry whispered as we hid underneath the invisibility cloak. Hagrid grabbed our mugs and would have thrown them out the window if I hadn't pointed to Fang's cushin. Professor Umbrigde was standing outside. "Hello. You are Hagrid, no?" Without waiting for a answer, she walked in. " Er-I don' want ter be rude," said Hagrid, staring at her as she inspected his hut, " but 'ho the ruddy hell are you?" "My name is Doloores Umbridge." Her eyes locked where my shoe was sticking out under the invisibility cloak. I cursed under my breath as I quickly took it off without moving any other part of my body. "And what is this?" Professor Umbridge said, picking up my shoe, and completely ignoring Hagrid's "You're one of the Ministry of Magic folks right?" question. "That's, um, my new pair of shoes." "Your new pair of shoes?" Hagrid nodded. "Then where's the other?" "Somewhere in this bloody hut, I suppose. You know how messes can be, right?" I bit my lip. "Where have you been?" "Where' 'i've been?" "Yes. Term started two months ago. Another teacher had to take your place." "I was getting, uh, fresh air." Professor Umbrigde nodded. "Fresh air, eh? Being groundskeeper, it must be so hard to get fresh air."


	18. Occlumency Lesson no 1

I walked inside Dumbledore's office. Professor Dumbledore was nowhere in site. "Hello Justin." I jumped. I turned around. "Professor, I need to talk to you for a minute..."

Hermione had discovered that I hadn't told Professor Dumbledore yet about Sycamore, so while she wrote Hagrid's lesson's for him, she forced me to go talk to Dumbledore.

"And now the Missing Link thinks we used to be partners," I said, finishing my story. Professor Dumbledore nodded. He stood up and began pacing the room. "You see, Justin, you were once a wizard. A very famous wiz-" "But-" "Don't interrupt. Anyway, Lord Voldormort erased your memories. That's why I brought you here. Slowly, with a class of Occlumency with Snape, you should get them back." "Can't you just- what with who now?!" Professor Dumbledore turned to face me. "Professor Snape." I gulped.

* * *

"Thanks _a lot_ Hermione," I said sitting down in my favorite chair. Hermione looked up from her knitting. "Thanks a lot for what?" "Now I have Occlumency lessons with Snape." I turned to face a reading Harry. "You too Harry." "Well, if Dumbledore-" "Oh Dumbledore's just an old man. What does he know?" I said, as I started to read, trying not to look at Hermione's shocked expression.

"The good news is Susan, I've found Dr. C. The bad news is that apparently, he doesn't remember any of us. And they're beating him," Link said into his phone, while watching Hagrid pour some tea for three boys and one girl. "_What?!_ Doesn't remember us?" Susan's voice yelled from the other side of the phone. "Well, of course Susan," said B.O.B. "He's with the famous Siruis Black! He's probably having a great time!" Both Link and Susan groaned.

"Your turn, Mister Time," Snape said, drawing his wand. Before I could react to this however, Snape was in my memories.

* * *

****_ "Are you sure that's such a good idea Doc?" Susan asked. I nodded as a unfocus green thing smiled. "It's how we got B.O.B over mustaches." I turned to see Snape looking at me with disgrace._

* * *

I fell to the floor, gasping and covered in sweat. "Please tell me you're like a counsler and you're not allowed to tell anyone that," I mumbled. "Again, Mister Time," was all that Professor Snape said.

* * *

_ "Please Susan, if anyone should be handing around here, it should be me," I said, twitching slightly. "But-" "Oh Susan, why must you always go to death gone worry," I said again. Suddenly small orange wings grew out of my back. "Because of that," Susan said disgusted. Snape was watching again. I could see him. Suddenly the blue blob started screaming..._

* * *

I snapped out of it to hear another scream. It was Professor Trelawney.


	19. The Four Randy Cunninghams

The Four Randy Cunninghams

Link's POV

I watched my friends Susan, B.O.B, the General, and Sqweep tie up the Hagrid as the second scream sounded. "Now what are we going to do?!" the General thought aloud. "He doesn't even remember us!" "Oh, oh, oh I know! We could all be Randy Cunninghams: 9th grade nijas!" B.O.B exclaimed. We all turned to face him. "Randy what now?" B.O.B pulled out a comic book. The title read: Randy Cunningham: 9th grade nija.

"It's my favorite comic!" B.O.B said exsaticly. "Uhhhhh," the General said. "I know, it's great! We all dress up like 9th grade nijas( except for you Susan, you'll be Randy Cunningham's best friend's older sister) an-" "What!" "Not now Susan. Anyway, an-" "B.O.B, that is completely ridildes," the General said firmly.

B.O.B you giant blue stupid blob, was just some of the words muttered under the General's breath as we sneaked into the school.

"But y-you can't d-o this to me!" an old woman cried. A toadlike woman smiled. "Actually, I can." Sqweep gasped. "That's him!" she wispered, pointing.

Doc's POV:

Harry and I rushed to the scence. "What's going on?" I asked Hermione. "But y-you can't d-o this to me!" Professor Trelawney was standing in the middle of the entrance hall with her wand in one hand and an empty sherry bottle in the other, looking utterly mad. "Actually, I can. You didn't realize this was coming?" Even though I hated Professor Trelawney's class, she couldn't even predict tomorrow's lunch meal, this was sickning. "I've been here for sixteen years! Hog-Hogwarts is my home!" I was revolted by Umbrigde's happiness. I heard a sob to the left of me. Lavender and Parvati were crying into each other's arms. "This is sickning," I muttered. I walked out of the crowd, tired of this mess. "You have not one right to do this, Umbrigde," I said. Professor Umbrigde looked shocked for a minute, appearently she had thought I would be on her side, before smiling her trademark toadlike smile. "Yes, yes I do Professor Cockroach." Professor Mcgonagal walked over to Professor Telawney and hugged her. "Don't cry Sybil, you don't have to leave…" "And-" "Why don't you just go eat dung Umbrigde?! I think everyone would actually say that's the one good thing you can do," I said, slow and clear, making sure every single teacher and student heard. Professor Umbridge looked at me with disgrace. "Watch your tongue, Professor Cockroach." Seeing red, I walked off.

Link's POV:

Dr. C walked off. Umbridge turned to face Mcgonagal. "You're next for inspection," she mouthed as an old man walked into the scence.

The next day, Doc's POV:

I turned over my slightly burnt scrambled eggs in disgust. "We have got to do something," I muttered. My friends and I were having breakfast in the Great Hall. "Harry, we've been thinking, and we all agree that we should take Defense against the Dark Arts class into our own hands," Hermione suddenly said. "And where was I in this thinking?" I asked. "You've had the most expermince with Dark arts, Harry," Hermione contied, ingoring me. "So we think you should teach us." "What?!" Harry exclaimed. "Yea. What?!" a boy I had never seen before said, walking over to us and sitting down beside me. He had light blue eyes and the palest of skin. "Er-who are you?" Ron asked. "Oh. I'm B.O.B." B.O.B leaned close to Hermione and Harry. "But between us four, I'm really Randy Cunningham 9th grade nija." "Er-okay," Harry said uncertainly. I raised an eyebrow. Hermione, who wasn't paying any attention to B.O.B, said suddenly, "Look at this!" We all looked at the Daily Prophet.

**Ministry seeks educational reform Dolores Umbridge appointed first-ever "High Inquistitor."**

"Oh, wow, High Inquistitor. We should give her flowers," B.O.B said stupidly. Ron smacked him on the head. "Ow!" "Thank you," Harry mumbled. "High Inquistitor? What does that mean?" I asked. Hermione read aloud:

_In a surprise move yesterday night the Ministry of Magic passed new legislation giving itself an unprecedented level of control at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry._

"She's pretty," B.O.B wispered to Ron dreamly. Ron reared up again and smacked him again.

_"The Minister has been growing uneasy about stuff going on in Hogwarts for some time," said Junior Assistant to the Minister, Percy Weasley._

"You're pretty," B.O.B said to Hermione. Hermione stopped in mid-sentence. "Um- thanks?" B.O.B nodded.

_ "That's how Dolores Umbrigde came to working at Hogwarts, and since she's been an immediate success-"_

I nearly choked on my buttered toast. "She's been a WHAT?!" Harry exclaimed. "Wait, there's more," said Hermione grimly.

"_-an immediate success, totally revolutionizing the teaching of Defense Against the Dark Arts and providing the Minstery with on-the-go feedback about what's really happening at Hogwarts."_

_"It is this last function that the Minstery has now formalized with-_ B.O.B that's my breakfeast!" "Oh. Sorry. Ow!"

Hermione looked back at the Daily Phopet. "Now where was I?" "Oh you were at the part where-Ow!" "Shut up!" Ron said.

_"The Minstery's new moves have received enthu-_no, I wasn't there…."

_ "I think the appointment of the Inqu-_ B.O.B-oh forget it," Hermione said, giving B.O.B her food.

"So that's how Professor Umbrigde got the ability to sack Professor Telawney," I said. B.O.B glupped down Hermione's food. "This is just great," I said aloud. "It is." Harry, Hermione, and I looked(B.O.B was stealing Harry's eggs.) at Ron weirdly. "Umbrigde will get what deserves when she does Professor Mcgonagal." I grinned.

I skiped Charms. Fred, George, and I were too busy. "Are you sure this is the right way?" I asked, hexing a huge plant. Fred nodded. "Well, that should do it," George said, finishing his hex. "Once Charms and Transfiguration classes are over, our prank will start." I grinned. I loved being a wizard.

I walked into Transfiguration class and sat down beside Ron and Harry. "Popcorn?" I asked, taking a piece myself. We were ready for one heck of a show. Professor Umbridge was in the back corner of the room, making notes. Professor Mcgonagal walked in, acting like Professor Umbridge wasn't there. "That will do," she said, and we all got still. "Mr. Finnigan, kindly come here and hand back the homework- Miss Brown take this box of mice- don't be silly girl-they can't hurt you-and pass one to each student-" "Hem, hem," Professor Umbridge coughed. Seamus handed me back my homework and I sighed, reliefed. I had manged a B.

"Right then- Mr. Time, if you do that to that mouse again I will give you detention-(I was trying to get it to eat my homework)most of you have now successfully vanished your snails and even those who were left with a certain amount of shell have the gist of the spell. Today we shall be-"

"Hem, hem." "Yes?" Professor Mcgonagal said with cold fury, turning to face Professor Umbrigde. "Pass the popcorn," Seamus mouthed. I nodded and passed it down. "Did you get the papers about the time and date of th-" "Obviously I did, or I would be asking you what ever are you doing in my class?" By now everyone was looking at each other with glee. "Oh." "Anyway," Professor Mcgonagal started, "Today we will be doing a much harder task. Vanishing mice. Snails-being slow invertbets-are m-" "Hem, hem," Professor Umbridge said. Professor Mcgonagal turned. "And how do you expect me to teach normaly when every five seconds you're interrupting?" I grinned. "Seamus, pass up the popcorn." Professor Umbrigde was quiet for the rest of the class period, much to our disappointment.


	20. BOB the Spy, Memories, a Hog Head

Our prank went great. As soon as Transfiguration class was over, Professor Umbridge was to do Professor Grubby-Plank. Which we all knew.

So when Professor Umbrigde walked into our trip wire, the giant plants we hexed, exploded on top of her and the corridor. The result was a swap for a corridor and a hag covered in swap guts. But I didn't have time to stay around and laugh. Today was my first day of teaching Defense against the Dark Arts. "Good luck, Herb," Fred said. "Yea. Teach them good."

The Griffendors walked into my classroom. "Good morning, class," I said. "Today, we'll learn about real defense for whats really out there. Like Lord Voldemort." Seamus raised his hand. "Yes Mr. Finnigan?" "But the Daily Prophet says Lord Voldemort isn't back. That's he's dead." I nodded. "Well, Mr. Finnigan, would you believe the Daily Prophet even if they said that Lord Voldemort was truly back, but this time wearing a to-to and dancing the nutcracker suit?" Many Griffindors around Seamus snickered. "Right then. This get started, shall we?"

* * *

It was a cold and windy night in the Hog's Head. I was busily pouring my glass of spit into Draco Malfoy's glass of rot beer( he deserved this, okay?) when it happened. Four boys walked in. One looked like a younger version of Sirus, and one looked like a younger version of Lupin. One of the boys, who oddly looked like a younger version of me, kept ruffing up his hair, like he was afraid it would go down. The other looked like a rat. "Where were you last week, Lupin?" the boy that looked like a younger version of me asked. Lupin semi-hesitated. "I was at my grandmother's. She incredibly ill." "But, wasn't that, James, the reason Lupin went two months ago?" the boy who looked like a younger version of Sirus asked. "And didn't you said she died?" Lupin really did look afraid now. "I did?" "No. But you disappear at every full moon. Are you a werewolf?" James asked. Lupin bit his lip. "Yes," he said before looking into _Hogwarts: A History._

They suddenly vanished. "But w-where they'd go," I mumbled. "What happened?" "Hey Justin." "Ahhhhhh!" I yelled out of shock as I fell out of my chair. Hermione, Harry, Ron, Lavendor, Nevil, Dean, and Cho with one of her non-stop laughing girlfriends. "What are you guys doing here?" I asked. "Didn't you get the letter?" "Oh. The letter."

Luna Lovegood, Katie Bell, Alicia Spinnet, Angelina Johnson, Colin and Dennis Creevey, Ernie Macmillan, some boy I didn't know, some Hufflepuff girl I didn't know, Terry Boot, Ginny, Fred, George, Lee, and Anthony Goldstein. "Hopefully you like to make speeches, Hermione," I muttered. "Twenty-three butterbeers, please, "Fred said. After we were all settled, and after the waiter gone away( Colin and Dennis Creevey didn't bring enough money so everyone was trying to dig up some money) Hermione started. Well if you call biting your lip and saying," Er-hi?" starting. "Since Professor Umbridge won't let us learn real defense without getting in trouble," I said, helping. "We need to take matters into our own hands," Hermione said beaming. She nodded a thank you, and started,"And by that I mean learning to defend ourselfs properly, not just theory but the real spells-" "And we all want to pass our Defense O.W.L.S," Anthony said. Hermione nodded. "And also because, well,... Lord Voldemort is back. Cho nearly got soked by her friend when she shrieked and slopped butterbeer all over herself, Nevil yelped, and Alicia fell off her chair, though she said the wind did it.

"Where's the proof?" the boy I did not know huffed. "And who are you?" I asked. "Zacharias Smith." "He's back," Harry said. "Because I saw him." And that's how Dumbledore's Army was started.

"B.O.B! B.O.B! Fine! Randy Cunningham, 9th grade moron," Link said into the phone. "It's nija, but moron will do for now. What?" You see him?" "Who?" "Him? The whole reason we came to England is to find him, and you don't know _him?!" _"Well, yea. It's..." B.O.B was silent for a few minutes as he stared into the window of the Hog's Head. "It's for the boy named Cho, right?" The General sighed in the background. "No, B.O.B. Dr. C? You remember him?" Susan asked. "Oh. Him. No. There's just some kids talking about proof of Zacharias Smithback."

It was early the next morning as I pulled myself out of bed to go to Potions when I saw it. Sycamore was chewing and growling at some white ball? I rolled my eyes. "Sycamore, give," I said. I was in a bad mode. Today's Potions class I would have to go as a student. Yah. Sycamore did. But as soon as I touched the white ball the whole world went black.


	21. The Past Third-Year Snape

"Ow! Ow! OW! Gee, who puts stairs in darkness?!" I yelped as I fell in the blackness. After landing on my rear end on a smooth black floor, I patted my head. "Ouch!" I whispered. Suddenly, something that felt oddly like either a stick or a wand poked me on the neck._ "Great. This is all I needed,"_ I thought. _"Lumos."_

The wand at my neck lightened to reveal a boy with slick down black hair, covered in hair gal, with Slythin robes on. We were at the foot of the Great Stairs. _"Great. This is even better. No one every comes down here,"_ I thought. The boy pulled his wand slightly. "What are you doing down here James?" I groaned. "Does every single person think I'm James Potter?!," I exclaimed. "We may look alike, but we're not the same person for crying out loud!" The boy raised an eyebrow before looking up at my head. "Looks like you damaged you're head." "How bad is it?" "Pretty bad." "Who are you?" The boy helped me to my feet. "You don't remember me?!" I sighed. "No." "Oh. "I'm Severus Snape."_ "Oh My God,"_ I thought.** "**_I'm in the Past!"_

* * *

Severus Snape's POV:

_ "Lumos,"_ I muttered under my breath. I was at the foot of the Great Stairs, trying to read. I wanted to cry. No, not cry. Let off steam. Here I was, only in my thrid year, and everyone hated me. All because of one stupid boy. James Potter. "Ow! Ow! OW! Gee, who puts stairs in darkness!?" a voice familer to me yelped suddenly, almost making me jump out of my skin. As the person landed, I pulled out my wand. "Lumos_."_ My wand lit up to reveal a beat up James Potter?

His head was all bloody with his Griffindor robes torn and his skin scrached or bleeding. "What are you doing down here James?" James groaned. "Does every single person think I'm James Potter?!," James exclaimed. "We may look alike, but we're not the same person for crying out loud!" I raised an eyebrow. I looked at his head again. _"Maybe he doesn't remember correctly. Maybe that fall messed up his memories?"_ I thought. "How bad is it?" James asked, snapping me out of my trace. "Pretty bad." "Who are you?" I helped James to his feet. "You don't remember me?!" James sighed sadly. I thought for a minute."No." "Oh. I'm Severus Snape." "Okay," James said, still a little shaken, I supposed. I wanted to grin. This was gonna be fun.


End file.
